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Pre-Deployment Checklist for Airmen and their Families

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

It's human nature to put off addressing issues that are painful. Many men and women in the armed services are prone to procrastination when it comes to the emotions aspects of deployment. The reality that you may have to leave your family for a year or even more – is not something most people would relish. Yet, as all military families understand, it is a reality and families should deal with the issue prior to deployment.

The Air Force Crossroads website has some tips for Air Force families (which certainly apply to all military families) facing the deployment of a wife or husband. The Air Force emphasizes that talking about deployment within the family is an effective way to minimize the sting of deployment.

One of the particularly difficult issues for military families when facing deployment is a feeling that they have no control over events. Many members of the military are ready to deploy in the sense that they have their sea bag packed and their gear in order; they have their military life ready to go, but often this preparation doesn't extend to their personal life.

Air Force Crossroads emphasizes that service members can do a number of things to prepare themselves and their family for deployments. One of the best things to do is to make sure that your Air Force spouse is aware of the resources available to her through the Airmen & Family Readiness Center; knowing about resources may help ease stress by giving an Air Force spouse a place to go for answers during his or her spouse's deployment.

The next big issue is communication between husband and wife. Airmen and women need to spend a night with their spouse and discuss the deployment in detail, and how both feel about it. Then the couple should discuss how things should be handled at home in the case of emergencies or unexpected challenges.

Pilots should also go through the house and make sure their spouse knows how to deal with common task like working the lawnmower, turning off the gas in case of an emergency or changing a flat tire. If your departing spouse had been in charge of domestic tasks like cooking and handling the bills, make sure the procedures for these chores are clear.

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Airmen and women should also understand that when they deploy, a part of their spouse will go with them. Although your spouse may have dealt well with the ramp-up to the deployment, be sensitive that there may be a tendency on their part as well as yours, to put some distance between the both of you. Although this distancing is not ideal, it may occur and both you and your spouse should be aware of this reality.

Airmen and women also shouldn't be surprised if their spouse seems irritated or upset with the Air Force or its commanders. Although this is not a rational way to act, it's understandable that there is anger at those who have given orders which have lead to the disruption of family life. As with all things in marriage, the ability to put yourself in your spouse's shoes and to identify yourself with their situation is paramount. While you may acutely feel your sacrifice for the nation, your spouse and children are sacrificing much as well.

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